I find cover charge offensive

That is all I have to say.

The Pretend Party

For those who have been following this blog, it will be clear the one place I love to be more than anything in the world is The Party.

I love the glamour, the people, the interaction, the reaction, the conversation, the cocktails, the photos, the impulses, the spontaneity.

But a new phenomenon is emerging and I am grappling to accept its impact.

Not to diss on social networks – I mean what kind of earthling would I be if I did? – but facebook invites are throwing the whole point of The Party out of kilter.

I would be invited to between ten and twenty events on facebook  by people I haven’t seen/spoken to/thought of in years.  To be fair, yes, why am I still friends with them then?  But remember when it was cool on facebook to have as many friends as you could find? Have you ever tried to cull those hundreds of people in later years? Very time consuming.  And boring.

Still, some of these events are to their houses people!  To catch up with their housemates I have never heard of! And yet, there is some part of me that wants to say “Yes, Attending”. Even though chances are I will never go.  But for some odd reason it feels good to be invited to an event you have no intention of going to?

There needs to be some kind of new ettiquitte.   A protocol for facebook invite.  Only invite those you definitely want to come – and if they did come you would go and talk to them and thank them for coming.  And attendees.  “Maybe” needs to be removed.  “Maybe” means you are pretty cool and I don’t want to offend you by saying no but there is really no way I will be attending.  And “attending” needs to be some kind of solid commitment to turning up.  Otherwise we are really losing the whole focus of The Party.

A short note on dress codes

I would like to point out to all those dress code militants on doors of clubs and bars these days that a collared shirt is not a comprehensive vetting procedure for douchebags.

Sure, you don’t want to see the wife-beater some guy wore to work and the mis-matched thongs he found in the backseat strutting around a club that an proprietor has put a lot of time and money into, but really jeans and a tshirt not allowed?

As a lady who truly does love and appreciate The Party, I understand you want well-dressed people in your club, it adds to the sense of occasion. But there really needs to be some other criteria outside imposing practically a penguin suit on our lads.

I would propose the other criteria goes along the lines of this: “Are you wearing a collared shirt, Sir? – No, okay then. Well are you a complete douchebag? No? Come right on through, Sir.”

And if the response to the later criteria is anything along the lines of “(expletive) you!” or “Get a cop up ya!” or “Don’t you know who I am? I’m a law-yer!” then clearly the potential patron is not suited for the venue.

Because as a girl who spends a lot on shoes and likes to wear high high heels, I would much prefer Mr Jeans and Tshirt who wants to buy me a nice drink to Mr Collared Shirt and Ridiculously Pointy Crocodile Skin Shoes who wants to grab my ass.

So bar, club and pub proprietor, please listen when I saw – a collared shirt will not keep the douchebags out of your club.