Shut the Hell Up

I tried to tell the girl at The Party that it was a great skill and talent to shut the hell up.

She took offence before I could explain.

A sweet thing, with bad roots and overly-straightened (almost singed) hair, she wore a dress that maybe was nice in the nineties and was shooting off her mouth in a loud, proud and awfully abrasive way. She had an opinion on everything and if it happened to you, let her tell you, it happened to her better or worse or more extreme and why are you even talking about your latent life when hers is on show?

The point is, if you want to have a good time at The Party, it is important to do what you can to make sure those around you are having a good time and the objective, after all is said and done, is always simply to have a good time at The Party. Those around you do not want to be made to feel bad about themselves or intimidated or inferior. They want to feel important and interesting and liked. And often this is very simply achieved by shutting the hell up and listening.

And by listening, I do not mean merely refraining from speech (although for my ironed-out, peroxided friend that would be a fabulous start). To listen, really listen, to someone involves an active attention to what they are saying, what they mean, what they want to say and what they won’t say.

And if you can perfect this skill of shutting the hell up and stopping and taking the care and talent to listen life is very different at The Party from what you think... very different indeed.