Expensive chicks for cheap kicks

I was arriving at The Party and saw there was a queue to get in. Never a big believer in waiting and more a believer in the now, I sauntered to the front, flashed a smile at the bouncer, Jack, whom I know from way back and he waved me in.

Then the male spoke up.

“How come girls always get to skip queues and never have to pay cover charge? It’s not fair. And then they get inside and we have to buy them all their drinks or their drinks are free off the bartenders. This is a total joke.”

Silly, silly, silly little male.

You want to know why girls don’t have to queue? You are standing there in your “going out jeans”, sneakers and a t-shirt. We are standing here in sky-high strappy stilettos and a sequined mini dress–freezing our asses off.

You want to know why girls don’t pay cover charge? Shall I work my way from the top down?
Hair: how many ten dollar barbers do you see around? Hundreds! - because most guys get pretty simple haircuts, there isn’t always that much hair to work with. Girls? We have to have involved architecturally sound works of art with shimmering colour tones, products, products and more rare diamond dust, pearl essence, moon oil products. And straightners? The only straightner a girl can use is $300. Haircut? $100-$150. Colour? $200-$250. Let’s face it, our hair probably cost more than your entire outfit.

Then the face? Makeup and mascara and lipgloss and perfume and facials and creams and lotions and potions and eternal youth stupefying mist because if we don’t look like the photo-shopped to oblivion whores in your dirrty girrly mags, we don’t qualify as the version of “hot” with which you are brain-washed into expecting by the conglomerates that control you.
The outfit? While it is completely socially acceptable for you to wear the same jeans out all the time, or the same sneakers and maybe rotate through a few shirts – However,we have to present an entirely new look with each outing. New earrings, new accessories, new clutch, new attire, new shoes.

So by the time a girl is ready to be social accepted out at The Party we are taking in excess of $800 to get there.

And you want to know why we don’t line up and don’t pay to be there?

You are paying to see us gentleman.

You, and your “going out jeans” from the last three weekends are paying for that pleasure.