Hey Fat B!tch :)

Goddamn Atkins, low-carb, low-fat, portion distortion, blood type, skin type, nationality type – for heaven’s sake how many diets are there?
Fact:
1. We are all fat b!tches who work in office and barely have time to remember who our friends and family are, let alone go to the gym.
2. We are always ready, willing and able to consume our body weight in chocolate.
3. Who gives a f*ck about an Oxford Comma?

The point is – who the hell can count calories, remember what is low-carb, hi-GI, mono-unsaturated, insoluble, protein rich with Vitamin A and selium? It would be a full time job just eating healthily! And I have far more numerous and riveting things to occupy my thoughts than how many riboflavins I’m getting in a day.
Here are the three easiest diets you will ever hear of:

1. Weight loss
Things you can eat: the colour green and anything protein.
Things you can’t eat: anything white.
Two rules. That’s it. No fancy-shmansy whiz bang low fat pretend carbs, taste like cardboard. If it is the colour green (apples, zucchini, spinach) or protein (steak, eggs, chicken) eat it.
If it is the colour white (bread, cake, biscuits, rice) don’t eat it.
Continue until desired weight loss is achieved.

2. Flat stomach
The rules of this diet are very easy – no solids after 10am.
That’s it. Eat what you like, drink what you like, but NO solids after 10am.

3. Detox
Eat foods that are only one food.
Steak is made of steak. A banana is made of banana. A carrot is made of carrot. A cracker is made of rice, potato, vegetable oil, sugar, salt, vegetable powders, flavour enhancers, dextrose, food acids, yadda yadda.
It is possible to combine your one foods as long as they stay one food. For example, a salad is lettuce, tomato, cucumber on the same plate. A stir-fry is capsicum, broccoli, chicken on the same plate. A cake may be made of banana, sugar, milk, eggs and wheat – but the banana is no longer a banana and the milk is no longer milk.
Promise you will feel the world of difference after just three days.

So throw the calorie counter away, screw the pre-packaged meals (they are miserable). Eating should be easy and fun, not taxing and stressful.

So go green and protein, liquids or one food. Easy to remember, easy to follow.

Love Ede xx